Trying to move on; not quite there yet

I may have mentioned this in post from yesterday, but the team has started talking in Japanese again in meetings.

Yes, I did mention it, but it’s been stewing away in my head overnight.

On the one hand, I’m angry at their lack of empathy for me. I doubt they’re going out of their way to exclude me from the conversation, but at the same time, they’re also not going out of their way to include me.

Every now and again, of course, they’ll speak in English “for my benefit,” but really just once or twice in a meeting. The rest of the time, I’m pretty much ignored.

So that sets me on edge — indeed, I was on edge all day and even into today. (And of course I had an argument with my wife because of that. Oh well.)

But along with the anger was a feeling of self-loathing. After all, isn’t it my fault that I don’t know enough Japanese to follow a conversation? Why aren’t I better at picking up the language? Why aren’t I spending all my time 24/7 just swotting?

What is wrong with me?

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